欣喜参半的日子


眨眼， 一生便火石般飞过去了。
要喊停，也无从喊起。跌跌撞撞的从各种悲喜中走来，回首，一切皆为烟云。
什么情义，什么生死； 还不是只存冷夜里，一怀挥之不去的幽情。
抱着路总是要走的心态，来到今日，前路只剩几许；就算风雨在大，自己也不过一笑置之。
回望四周的人，争功夺位， 到头来，狰狞獠牙，丑态百出。朋友没了，日子也开始难过了。 那又何必呢？

人 生于世，区区数十年；真的只为讨两口饭吃吗？只为汽车洋房而活吗？看看一般洋人，一有空便四处外游。增添人生情趣。七老八十的还四处结伴而行。看了，真羡煞人也。我们呢，到这个年龄时，早已精疲力尽，瘫在床上，无法行动自由。 悲也！今日的我，每夜都细算着每日的所作所为；以防自己继续践踏自己的生命。时日，到底是无多呵！

几度夕阳红

近日，夕照异常艳丽。霞色缤纷。
一时兴起，抓了相机就拍下拾几张照片。
定下心静观， 不觉心头一股哀伤幽然而起。
夕阳无限好， 只是近黄昏！不正是自己的写照吗？
多长的路， 都走到将尽了。
日子像枯叶似的片片凋零，无声无息。
眼前什么都有了，只是时间，时间却像沙漏， 点点滴滴的流失。
要做的事可多着哪！去摄影，去画画，去写作，去习禅，去。。。。有时，听友人说：十年后，我们什么什么的。自己心里却嘀咕着：我有这十年麽？？
正是这种心态，每每策划到一半时， 心里就迟疑下来，无法完事。
或许，或许抱着“过一日算一日“的态度， 会好受一点吧。
至少，可以每日挥活的更加精彩！失落感便肯定少一点。
速沉的夕阳，并不可怕。日落后，黑夜必定来临。只惋惜不能久留灿烂的霞色少许。

无题

雪白的心情
是一种明月清溪的观照
流云与投影
终究是一场虚虚实实的交替
花魂绮丽的梦
遂成
岁月里几许丝丝的蜜意

The Cruise

Personally, I do not like to let myself to be floating on the water. The main reason is I do not know how to swim, and have phobia with water.

This cruise trip happened really in a very strange way. One day in January, while window shopping at Woodlands Shopping Centre, two of us strolled pass a tour agency and saw the Star Cruise poster, we walked in to enquire some information of the cruise. As we walked out of that place, we already booked the trip! Until today, I still do not understand how it happened. Maybe, faithed to be on the vessel this period of time in my life!

Anyway, the trip came out quite enjoyable and present. The Star Virgo left the port in the evening, Friday. As the vessel sailed out, the sun starting to set.


The sky turned into a melting pot, inside it were lots of colour and rays.
It was my dream time, as I always wish to watch the sunset in the open sea when I was a child.

I stay at the top deck of the vessel and watch the sun set, as if I was watching a remarkable TV series. Every sec, every minute the appearance of the sky changes. There were reds, purples, blues, etc colours whirling above me. It's like a silent musician playing a beautiful tune in front of me. I was not the only person admiring the scene, there were others on the deck too.

As for the cabin, it is real small and cute. It equip with a painted fake window, as we were staying in a non-windowed cabin. Everything in the cabin is minute. With my orang-utan body moving around it, you would always hear me bum into something in the room most of the time.


The corridor on the open deck is breezy and nice. It is a nice spot for having an afternoon beer with a nice book in the hands for reading. The gigantic deep blue sea is wide open in front of you. Pressure is not present here, you could have all your time by yourself. If bored, go sing karaoke. There is a library on the vessel too. But, to me, the library is short of collections. There are spa, gym and loudges at 7 and 12 floor.

We watched three different shows within two days. The first was "The Kindom of Ku Fu", a dance and martial art mixed show by Chinese Martial Art Artists and other Chinese artists. Then, on the second day, we watched Singapore's own idols, Superstars Performance. Kelly, Jun Yang, Sin Hui and Wei Lian were performing in the show. After that, we show the topless dance show.

We went to the Casino after the show. And contributed another 100 dollars there!
The vessel was back to Singapore on Sunday. There ends my first experience being floating on the water for three solid days.

劫

佛家常说，人生多劫。年少时，不以为意。现年过半百，方知言之有物！劫，是一个观念，一个设想。但是，如果我们用它来衡量我们的一些人生际遇，倒也蛮有意思的。

劫， 在我来说，有好几种。多数人认为：人有情劫。不错，的确有‘情劫‘这码子事。但情劫不等于两性之劫！情也，涉及友情，亲情，爱情等。只要你以涉及，多少你一定会被波及。乐者， 自乐。败者，轻则唉声叹气；重者，意识消沉，甚至了以轻生！

此劫如此恐怖， 难道我们无法绕道而走吗？千百年来，古人早已作此想。只是，从他们的文字作品中，我们可以清楚看到；他们也是在苦苦挣扎， 但依旧无法脱离苦海。因而， 留下千古佳文， 供我们欣赏。

话说回来，人生在世，谁能无情？能无情者，已成飞禽走兽，非人也！因此，吾等只能劫覆一劫的活下去。奈何？

Bushido

I have been practicing karate-do for more than 40 years in Singapore. Personally I witnessed several great martial art artists grow and matured. They process the qualities of Masters. They do process great Bushido spirit and take it as part of their life.

They are heroes of themselves. They walk tall, and behave graciously.

Unfortunately, there are also many who claim to be ‘The Greatest’. They boost their status by stepping on somebody head. They do lots of self-advertising. But if we examine the facts, we will realize that most of them are frauds.

This makes me think of some fundamental issues here. One of them is Bushido spirit. Martial Art artists all know what this is. Most of us in this circle will be practicing it. There are several principles in Bushido: 1. Gi: the right decision, taken with equanimity, the right attitude, the truth. 2. Yu: bravery tinged with heroism. 3. Jin: universal love, benevolence toward mankind; compassion. 4. Rei: right action--a most essential quality, courtesy. 5. Makoto: utter sincerity; truthfulness. ó. Melyo: honor and glory. 7. Chugo: devotion, loyalty.

When I looked back to these principles, I really wonder those martial art artists do they really process these qualities?

A real great martial exponent always show his humble character; always patent in listen and coaching, always concerning, always attend matters with great passion and love.
But the strange thing is, I see lots of people who are martial artist themselves, back stepping others, bad mouth of others, or worse of all, slandering those he does not like. Are they qualified to be a martial art artist? Are they really understood the spirit and the core values of martial art?

Love

What is Love?
There often time people talk a lots about love. Do they really what's love? Lovers like to say: I love you. But do they really know what is the meaning in these words?

Few days ago, there was a piece of news about a little girl. She was missing from her own home in the afternoon. After three days of the news report, she was found dead under a flavor bridge. The prime suspect was her step father. This incident makes me re-think about what is love! If a human being can't even has a heart for another human being, I think, this person has no right to be standing among us.

There are lots of people in one hand promoting love, but in the other hand, they take away lives from the innocent people. This happens all the time in Planet Earth. Switch on your TV, view the news, you will realize what I have said is happening.

Once I watch a documentary film, it made me aware that there very few animals that would murder their own kind. Human Beings is one of these cruel creatures! And murder could take form in many faces, such as War, Religion, Race, and so on. When the blood flash red, the heart turns into ragging fury and madness.

Come to think about it, we humans are really bluffing ourselves all the time: How can we be better than those animals in the jungle?!

Following the Dream

Recently viewed a DVD entitled 'Following the Dream'. It is a Chinese cultural show performed by the disable. After watching the show, it gives me very great impact. Tears swell in my eyes, when I heard the wheelchaired singer sang "Zhang Sheng Xiang Qi" (When the applause started). I could feel these performers' great detemination and courage. They showed the world that they do not have the right to be pessimistic, they could not afford failure! They strike for perfection and grace. They believe in self-help, rather to depend help from other.

These performers, some of them are blind, crippled, semi-retarded, deaf, etc. But they live with dignity, pride and self confidence. Look back to our own surrounding, we are all born perfect, but there are many of us who lives like a sucker, who behave like an animal, who looks like a wolf wearing sheep skin. What is the matter with these people! If we compare these honourable disables with them, we really feel very shameful of these scumbags and garbages.

There are people who face hurdles in life, and will just turn around and do not face it. They set goals, but never reached. They make plans but never realised. Because they give up easily. They do not believe they could do it. They like to find short cuts. They want instant success. They must have forgotten a phase: NO PAIN, NO GAIN. At the end of the road, these people most properly will be pieces of drift wood, just flow through the stream of time and fade away without a trace!

I salute the performers in that DVD's cultural show. They given us strength to look forward when things are not to our desires. They demonstrated what will could make a person different from others. They are the real heroes in life!

Time

When I was young, time is nothing to me. I had waste lots of them for nothing. Youth is just like a splash of water. Suddenly, it vaporised, and vanished.

Today, youth is just like yesterday's event, it is so near and yet it is really far. Suddenly realise that time is ticking away, second by second. Very often hearing friends passing away one by one. My favourite actors gone, my favourite hangouts disappeared, my admired nation leader vanished. In the middle of the night, very often, I ask myself: When will be your turn?

Youngster do not realise this thing called 'Time' is a horrible thing. It just walk pass you and leave you no pain. Great leaders always say that we must live a meaningful life. How many of us, when we were having our last breath, would say to ourself: I really had my meaningful life in this world! Today, I see lots of young people addicted to games, drugs, and other trendy hobbies. Do they really think about meaning of life? Or their objectives in life? I could not answer on their behalf. But I do know, many time they are just letting time passing through their fingers and grap nothing for themselves. Sad? Maybe not. They may have lots of reasons to tell you they know what is good to themselves.

I just wonder, will these people have the same answer when they blow out their last breath, and look back on what they had done in the past?

For me, the clock's clicking is a daily threat. It keep on reminding me, time is running out of me. If I need to do something meaningful to myself, I better do it soon. Otherwise, it could be too late; and regret won't help.

有感

谢清 诗

春衫颓了秋寒，
清月照见发斑。
此生恩情难分，
流水飞花遗憾。

Peaceful life style

It was for a long time, that I have not been enjoying rural life. When I was young, I was employed as a farm teacher. I was then sent to Sembawang Farm School in Singapore for 2 years farm training. The two years staying in Farm School were paradise to me, as I was brought up in the city. I had chances to contact with all sorts of farm animals, such as foul, pigs, goats, fresh and marine fishes; as well as all kinds of horticultural plants.

My days at that time were full of colours, exitements, and gained new experience. I learnt to plant, to do animal husbandry, to experience fish farming, etc. The training given me a deeper understanding towards respecting life in all forms. I had witnessed how the cow tears when she walk into the slaughter house; how those pigs scream for their life, when they were chased into the gas chamber for slaughtering. I felt painful on those secenes and believe human beings are very cruel to these creatures.

Thereafter for thirty odd years, I was drowned in the hectic city life. Day in and day out, I struggled to survive in the mad mad world. Hardly I have time to sit down and reflect on what I am doing.

Only until recently, finally I was given a chance to handle my own life. I choose to take my time enjoy My Life. I travelled 350km away from home, and stay in a remote little town, name Raub in Pahang, one of the state in Malaysia.

I started to enjoy my beloved rural life again. Life here is so enjoyable, everyone here knows each other. The houses always with open doors to welcome guests. The mornings are filled with all sorts of birds' chirping. Morning mist like weil covering the whole place with a misty pale colour. Air is fresh as ever. Nearby, there are rubber plantation, durian farm, etc. Time flows slowly in here. My blood pressure drops to the lowest in my records. I stroll the earthy paths with greatest joy in my heart.

The world is so beautiful!

Lunar New Year

Every year at this period of time, his mood would go slightly down.

Human beings are strange creatures. Why must we create the concept of TIME? With this concept, we classify people: Young; Old; and Aged. With this concept, people who are sensitive and strong in self-awareness, would sense the time frame for himself or herself in this world is getting shorter and shorter. Do animals feels the same? Do you think the dog at your house really think about how long would he stay in this world after today?

As age grows, one feels he is getting older. At the early stage, this person may feel he is growing, maturing and have adulthood. But once he crossed over the age of 40, he would start feeling his life is sliding down the slope and a slow speed. When he is in his 50s, he would feel he gliding at a higher speed on the slope towards the end of his journey!

When days are limited, he would start to think about the meaning of existance of himself. He will start to reflect on what he had done in the past. He would examine and evaluate what he has achieved in the past too. On his report book, he would realise there are so many things that he had achieved are meaningless to LIFE itself! He starts to ponder on his thoughts to find out what is value to achieve from today to the day he stops breathing.

He looks around and see people fighting for names and frame. He would smile and walk away. There is a madding crowd out there. He becomes a loner, a misfit in the environment.

Every Lunar New Year period, he listens to the New Year Songs over and over again; he visits the goodies stores as years before, he realises his visits are getting numbered too.

He understands he is walking a step nearer to the other end, he likes it or not.

Rainbow



When we were young, we use to have our own rainbow inside our mind. We hope, one day, we will reach our rainbow! With this concept of rainbow, some of us really work towards it. It also have a driving force for us to pursue our goals in life.

As for our visually disabled singer, Kelvin Tan Wei Lian; he openly said one of his rainbows is to cut his own records. He participated in the Superstar contest without any intention, he just wants to try some different. But as he proceeds step by step towards his finals; he realized that he could be someone who will achieve the first title in Singapore. He works hard for it. Finally, he did it! There were public said that he won, due to people have given him the emotional "sympathy" votes.

But as time goes by, his first debut album was out, and in less than three days, his record achieved Gold Record! What does this prove? It only can prove that if someone is determined to achieve his goal in life, provided with the right strategy and opportunity, he should achieve it!

Is rainbow so far away? No! Not true. The rainbow is always in our mind, provided we want to take it seriously or not. There are many people who sees a rainbow at the spur of time, and later he would take it as a vision from the dream. His rainbow would fade fast. At the end of his life, he may achieve nothing. What a waste for such human being!

Is there absolute in our life?

This question always bug on my mind, since I have my logical thinking skill. What is absolute? One hundred percent right, you mean? Who has the correct judgment? Who has seen the perfect scenario?

We always hear our seniors, leaders, etc keep telling us what is totally right and what is totally wrong. The pictures they have painted; are they really absolute right? Who judges it?

If the world really have such things call absolute; then we should not see people fighting each other with so many things! We should see the absolute peace among mankind. Right?

The main difference in between Human and Animal is Human can think and have thoughts. This also brings in another problem: We think too much, and finally we tie our self with all kinds of concepts and ideas. Conflicts start from here!

For years, many lives were vanished meaninglessly due to people insisting their way of thinking is right or absolute! We are so smart that we fall into our own trap without realizing it.

absolute' is only in our state of mind. Really existing? I doubt so.

Targeting your future

Today, I talked to one of my very young friends who is an China national. I asked her what does she see herself in years to come. She shyly told me that she wanted to be a designer. But she added that her parents definitely would oppose to her view.

Two things came into my mind at that moment. What she said had happened to me. I totally understand her feeling. At the age of 16, when I told my mum I wanted to be an artist; I was scolded for the whole afternoon by her. My mum tried her best to brainwash me not to be an artist but in other professionals. She point was as an artist, you won't have a good life!

My young friend gave me that sorrowful look, after she said the parent will not be supportive on her view. I consoled her and share my experience with her. I encouraged her to set her target clear, and be brave to work towards it. I told her that she should understand her own abilities and her own choice. Once decided, she should work towards it, and never look back.

In these days, people are mostly live in their comfort zone. They tend not to take any risks, especially for parents to their kids! They have forgotten when they were young, they have dreams too. But now, they try to stop their kids to dream!

Is life only meant for monetary returns???

We should really think about it.

Touched

Recently watched Project Superstar, and I was touched by Kelvin's voice in his singing. Every time he sings on TV screen, very often, my eyes well with tears. Not because I am a soft-hearted person, but I think it is he full heartedly singing and his feeling that injected into his songs that move me.

There were many discussions and criticisms on the press as well as on radio, for question him as a visually disabled, the suitability to a Superstar. I did not bother about all this. To me, he is a stranger to me, up till today, I have not met him nor do I have the intention to know him personally. But inside me, he is really great. For everything I listen to his songs again, I am still moved as if the first time I heard him.

I started to think about his young life, and able to imagine how he had struggled through darkness and formed up his own world of our sighted reality. He openly mentioned that he accept his condition, and bravely face his life with pride. For this, I salute him with my highest respect.

Life is all about dignity, about pride, about dreams, about passion, about love, about....

Kelvin Tan we Lian has all these with him. One of his dream is to have his own concert, he had it on 1st September 2005. He would like to have his own album, he has it too. All his achievement are related to his focused strategy, his determination and his persistence. These days, how many of us still process these qualities? He is only 24! He really set a very good example for our youngsters to look up to.

Kelvin we Lian is not only a visually disabled singer, he is also a unique Singapore moral icon!

Flexibility is the survival skill in modern life. There are lots of people who take rules and regulations as their bible. To them, life is as simple as ABC, as long as you follow the rules and regulations imposed on them.

People like this would be very unhappy most of the time, as the world is changing so rapidly. We see social structure changes, we see moral standard changes, we see relationships change often. If we stick to fix rules or regulations, our mind would be fixed. Then the outcome would be most undesirable. Isn't it?

Power Craze

Human is strange creature.
When a person is at a position and has some form of power to manupulate, this person may change in his behavior gradually. He may become very self egoist, power crazy and very often, act God!

He tends to forget where he came from, nor he remembers his old friends who fought the battle with him for years to gain his present position. He, of course, will not sympotise people with the same situation as him before.

Sad, is the word for this kind of person. As he is not aware that all this so called power or fame is not permanent. In time to come, no matter how powerful you are, some one will come along and replace you. At present, if you are powerful, you are only desinated to choke the place for a while in the stream of time. If one could make full use of this position and do something good for the society or people around him, then he is achieved the purpose of being there.

But how many people do understand this? Er?